Marriage Problem Signs - Advice For Couples in Crisis

Gillian Reynolds 

 

Recognizing the common marriage problem signs can help couples stay together. When you are married, you are inevitably going to notice a shift in the dynamic of the relationship over time. It happens to every couple. Some couples sail through it smoothly while others face challenges. As the relationship changes, the partners also tend to change. If you love your spouse your goal is going to be to keep the marriage alive and thriving. The first step to doing that is to understand what signs indicate something is amiss.

One of the signs of problems in marriage is the couple doesn't share things anymore. At one time they probably couldn't wait to tell each other everything. Over time that can change and instead of openly communicating about everything they don't communicate about anything. If the lines of communication in your marriage have gone silent, you need to change that as soon as possible. Many people will put a barrier up because they don't want to deal with talking about their problems. If that's the case with your spouse, ease into it by talking about everyday things. If they feel comfortable and not threatened they are much more likely to open up about what is troubling them in terms of the marriage.

Continuing conflict is another of the marriage problems signs that have to be addressed if you hope to save the relationship. Many couples bicker over things like their children or finances. If these issues are left on the table and the struggle continues, it will lead to resentment that is very difficult to get past. Compromise doesn't always seem possible but if you want to keep your family together it's essential. Work at finding a solution to the problem even if it means you have to give in a little. Once that conflict has been cleared away you may notice the dynamic of the relationship changing again to a much more positive place.

Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was. For more insight into the troubles many marriages face and steps you can take to save your relationship, visit this helpful site. Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your relationship can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only set the groundwork for reconciliation between you and your spouse, but will help you build a stronger and more loving marriage. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Gillian_Reynolds

Save a Marriage - Keep Your Marriage Intact During the Holidays

Robert Deveau

 

Holidays are stressful even in the best of times. This time of year can take an extra toll on our marriages, too. With a little relationship savvy, you can weather the holiday storm and maybe even have your marriage come out stronger on the other side. The only good thing about the stress of the holidays on your marriage is that it is predictable. You know it is coming, that is half the battle of getting through it.

It is all, well mostly all, in the planning.

Plan your holiday schedule. If you have children, it is best to try to keep the schedule as 'normal' as possible. Same mealtimes, same bedtimes. However, holidays are a time for travel, seeing people you have not seen all year, parties and get togethers. Make only the necessary changes to accommodate those events you really want to attend. Also, be flexible. You may hate her boss or his coworkers, but be respectful of your spouses obligations, also. Planning time with extended family can also be a point of tension. Again, be flexible, take each others feelings into consideration. Remember, not every activity or event is necessary. Pick out the ones that you and your family enjoy the most, and schedule time to really enjoy them. Most importantly, make sure you schedule some couple time into the holidays, too. It is difficult enough for couples these days to find time to spend together, the holidays are notoriously time consuming, so make time for just the two of you.

Plan your finances. The economic stress of the times is enough to put a strain on any marriage. So, get together, decide how much you can allow for gift giving and holiday festivities and stick to the plan. If an unexpected instance comes up, be sure to talk it over with your spouse before taking action. It is okay to cut corners this year, or any year for that matter. Scaling back on expenses during the holidays can scale the stress back dramatically.

Plan to keep your marriage relationship a priority this holiday season. Keep in mind that when all the gifts are unwrapped and decorations taken down and the festivities cease...you still have your spouse and that is what matters most.

Learn 4 practical step-by-step exercises to save your marriage. Also, The secrets of a loving and fulfilling relationship with your spouse. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Robert_Deveau

Marriage Tips For The Holidays - Peace On Earth... And In Your Home Too

Sheryl Kurland

 

Theoretically, it's a holly, jolly time of year, but in reality, the holiday season is a catalyst for rocky marriages. Historically, January is the month with the highest divorce rate. Having endured decades of family feasts, party roulette, spending schizophrenia, shopping marathons, and obligation overload, couples married over 50 years hold the proven formula to marital bliss during the holidays. Espousing "experience" over "analysis," they share their advice:

Holiday Marriage Survival Tips

• Never discuss sensitive subjects when you're hungry.

• Make a list of what not to talk about at family gatherings. For example, never use the word "older," as in "Aunt Mary is 'older' than Aunt Susan" or "For an 'older' man, Uncle Harold has a lot of hair." Also, never compare today with the "good ol' days."

• If there are two ways to interpret what somebody said and one makes you mad and the other doesn't, pick the other one.

• At family dinners, if you've lost weight recently, don't mention it. In fact, wear baggy clothes to make yourself inconspicuous.

• Never roll your eyes or shush someone's annoying child running around or whining.

• Take a vacation, i.e., go on a cruise, stay at a bed & breakfast. (If some relatives are insulted by your plan, they're probably the same ones that made you miserable!)

• Consolidate tasks. Example: Take a nap together. This allows you to accomplish two goals simultaneously: 1) Devote time solely to each other, and 2) Prevent exhaustion.

• Make dreaded tasks more enjoyable. Example: Chat on the phone while wrapping presents or addressing holiday cards.

• Celebrate somebody else's holiday. Forego the lavish, overindulgent holiday feast and, instead, volunteer at a local church, food bank or homeless shelter to help the less fortunate.

• If an issue arises, decide how big a deal it really is to the two of you – not Aunt Gladys or Uncle Lester.

• Never, ever, miss a good chance to shut up. Every comment doesn't need a retort. Every issue doesn't need another opinion. Speak up when it's important. Keep your lips zipped when it isn't. What you don't say is often as important as what you do say.

• Repel little mishaps and misunderstandings with laughter. Weather turbulence with a sense of humor.

• Hug and squeeze, aim to please. The holiday pace is frenetic and it's easy to lose each other in the shuffle. In the midst of the chaos, don't forget to nurture your relationship. Block out time for each other, just as you do for everyone else! Actions can be as low key as sharing a hug for no particular reason, calling or instant messaging to simply say "I'm thinking about you," or taking a 15 minute after-dinner walk together.

• So many parties. So many outfits. So many decisions. The most popular and vexing question of the season spoken from the mouths of babes is "Honey does this make me look fat?" Ladies, don't ask. And gentlemen, should they dare, don't risk ruining the evening (and the entire next week). The "correct" answer is to articulate the fifth amendment. Deep down, every wife knows where her curves should and shouldn't be.

• Holiday get-togethers compel people to brag about their gains. Couples brag about gains in their garage, gains in their wallet, their LLardo collection, children's trophies, frequent flyer points, and on and on and on. With the realization that your list is a lot shorter, you may inquisitively look into each other's eyes and ask: What are we doing wrong? The answer: Absolutely nothing. Whether your accomplishments for 2007 equal one or 100, give yourselves a pat on the back.

• Love the one you're with. Oh my, there are some fine looking men and women attending the holiday get-togethers. Everybody is jolly. Everyone looks marvelous. These observations can magnify the challenges, problems and issues the two of you are dealing with on the home-front. Are you missing something? Don't be fooled by the razzmatazz. 99% of the time the grass isn't greener on the other side. Instead of wallowing in wonder, turn the energy spent in doubt into energy devoted to rekindling the love between you and your mate.

• Forget the Norman Rockwell ideal. The pie crust won't be perfect. Scale down your expectations, and focus on what's right rather than what's wrong.

• Keep a good book handy.

• An occasional cocktail from time to time helps!

Sheryl Kurland is author of the elegant coffee-table book Everlasting Matrimony: Pearls Of Wisdom From Couples Married 50 Years Or More. 75 couples, "real-life" relationship experts, reveal the keys to a loving, lasting and fulfilling relationship. SIGN UP FOR FREE, WEEKLY EMAIL "TIME-TESTED RELATIONSHIP TIPS" FROM COUPLES MARRIED 50-PLUS YEARS AT http://www.EverlastingMatrimony.com. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Sheryl_Kurland

Tips to Stay Married and Happy

Gerry Restrivera 

Divorce rate is increasing which means more and more couples are having a hard time keeping a marriage and end up in separation. Marriage is a complex relationship and you need to exert more efforts to stay married and happy. There are ups and downs in a marriage and if you do not know how to deal with it, divorce or separation might happen.

It is not impossible to stay married and happy for as long as you live because there are people who spend their lifetime being married to the same woman or man. My parents have been married for 40 years now and they are still happy and enjoying each other's company. Marriage is a journey that they both enjoy.

Here are some tips to stay married and happy:

Respect your spouse. Marriage is not only about you but it is also about your spouse. There are two people in a marriage, understanding and respecting each other's rights is important to stay married and happy. You do not have to argue who is right and wrong but respect to each other will help you both avoid arguments and misunderstanding.

Constant communication. The key to a strong marriage is a constant communication. If you are talking on a regular basis, you will both establish a connection and closeness through the years. Of course you will not only talk about problems or issues in your marriage but you will also talk about the joys and happiness of being married. Women are often vocal about their feelings and other issues but you should also know when to stop talking and listen more to your spouse. Men are less of a talker most of the time, it would be helpful if you become more open to express your feelings and communicate more to your spouse. Communication is the key to stay married and happy.

Loyalty and dedication. In today's world it is very easy not to be dedicated and loyal to your spouse. There are a lot of temptations that could take your loyalty away from your spouse. It could be another woman, another man, your job and other things. Although most men and women now are career oriented, you both have to arrive at some point and ask yourself what is more important, the family or the career? When it comes to temptation with another man or woman, is it all worth it to put your marriage at risk just for another man or woman? Loyalty and dedication to your spouse could be really hard but you have to try your best to stay married and happy.

Accept your spouse weaknesses. If you love your spouse, it comes with a complete package. You love your spouse not only for their strengths but you also have to embrace their weaknesses. We are humans, we make mistakes and the most important thing is that you have the tolerance to accept those mistakes and you are beside him or her to deal with those mistakes. If you have the patience and understanding that your spouse need, then you have the chance to stay married and happy. 

Sexual satisfaction. Sex is a very important aspect of any marriage and it is important that you can give the satisfaction that your spouse deserves. Accept it or not, sexual dissatisfaction is one of the reasons why some marriages don't last. If one is not sexually satisfied, he or she might look for that satisfaction elsewhere.  To prevent this from happening, you must know your spouse desires and learn how to meet those desires. You must be open-minded to discuss sex with your spouse and be ready to learn new things to make sex more exciting and satisfying for both of you.

Marriage is a long journey that both of you should enjoy. Although marriage is not always a bed of roses, there are things that you both can do to stay married and happy through the years. If you still find it hard to keep your marriage and you are in the middle of relationship problems, do not lose hope. Discover the easy to follow strategies to save a troubled marriage visit Save My Marriage Today To know more about relationships visit All About Relationships Gerry Restrivera writes informative articles on various subjects including Tips to Stay Married and Happy. You are allowed to publish this article in its entirety provided that author's name, bio and website links must remain intact and included with every reproduction. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Gerry_Restrivera